We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
