glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize