Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
