Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
