I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
