Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
