Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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