Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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