You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
