why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
