I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
