Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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