Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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