I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
