whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
