Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
