Me too!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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