"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize