I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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