hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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