It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
