paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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