I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
