so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
