it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
