I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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