You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
