The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
