Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we made out on top of his cat.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
