I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
