i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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