Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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