you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
