So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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