i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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