I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We are all done wearing pants today
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
