if i can run in heels then i can drive
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
