Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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