Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
