Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
