i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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