do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
