is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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