he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
