I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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