how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
