I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
