i need an iv and a liver transplant
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
