Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
