He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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