i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize