I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I could make wine with my vomit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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