I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
