stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
