Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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