I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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