Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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