i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
