Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
