and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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