i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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