Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
