i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The best revenge is premature balding
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
