girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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