People with herpes should wear stickers.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
