and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize