the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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