im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
