You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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