Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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