No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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