Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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