Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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