I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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